[Verse 1 – minor key, slow and anticipatory, a sense of reluctant duty, male voice with Australian or UK accent]
(if you know, you know)
I’ve got one in the departure lounge,
It’s pokin’ its head out now.
Processed feasts have done me wrong,
But Plantago will show me how.

A heavy step, a furrowed brow,
A call I cannot disavow.
To the quiet room, I make my way —
The time has come, I must obey.

[Chorus – female voice sung from Plantago’s point of view, joyful and lilting, natural instrumentation, major feel]
I am the husk, the seed, the shield,
Against the bounty that’s concealed.
From processed grains and factory fare,
I bring sweet balance, light as air.
(rejoice, o traveller of pipes unseen!)

[Verse 2 – modulated, brisker tempo, smooth rhythm, transformation underway, male voice with Australian or UK accent]
It’s smooth, it’s swift, it’s clean, it’s kind,
No straining, just aligned.
Epic bulk, the bowl’s near full,
Psyllium’s gift — incredible!

A single wipe, confirm, no trace,
A job well done, a tidy place.
The cling-ons fled, no need for war —
This is what my fiber’s for.

[Chorus – Female voice sings with more pride, same melody, slightly fuller arrangement]
I am the husk, the seed, the shield,
Against the bounty that’s concealed.
From processed grains and factory fare,
I bring sweet balance, light as air.
(a hero in the sewer’s flow!)

[Verse 3 – major key, triumphant, airy and light, male voice with Australian or UK accent]
Oh what joy, oh what relief,
A spring returned beneath my feet!
How many kilos sailed away?
A lighter soul begins the day.

Ready now for feats, for flight,
Psyllium’s gift has set me right.
A bow of thanks, a grateful nod —
To husk and seed, my stool’s true god.

[Chorus – female and male voices combined. final, full band, jubilant]
I am the husk, the seed, the shield,
Against the bounty that’s concealed.
From processed grains and factory fare,
I bring sweet balance, light as air.
(long live the mighty Plantago!)